Friday, November 22, 2013

Don't blink. It's dangerous.

I have a lot of thoughts that I think would make great posts, but by the time I get to the computer later, I don't even remember that I had something to post about. Sigh.

Tonight I was driving home from taking dinner to Hayden at work.  "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" by U2  came on the radio (a strange occurrence itself).  Suddenly I realized that I must have blinked and 20+ years have gone by.  I have three kids, I drive a mini van, and I live in Utah.  How did I get here?  Where did the time go?  I got a degree, a husband, became a mother, played with toddlers and suddenly I have teenagers, one of whom will leave home in the next 2 years.   It felt very existential and I felt small and insecure and not a whole lot different than the girl who drove  an old toyota  and listened to the same song.  Which I am, but am I an improved version or not?  What am I supposed to do with the next 20 years of my life? I already gave up my identity of being a mother of young kids.  On the next blink, I will have no kids at home.

Here is where the wheels can come off for some people.  Thank goodness I have the gospel to be my lug nuts and keep my wheels on.  Heck, it's been keeping the wheels on for as long as I can remember.  I know why I'm here and where I'm going.  My life should always have  purpose if I understand and remember the Great Plan of Happiness.  So I guess it's Satan who whispers in our ears that we are only one thing and when that ends, we are nothing.  So don't blink.  Or just tell Satan to shut up.  :)