because I am supposed to, I guess.

Hayden pointed out to me that there have only been four blog posts all year, in a disapproving tone. I simply shrugged and said, "It hasn't been the best year." I didn't add that I rarely get to use the computer when the kids are home. Oh, they'll get off if I ask, but is it worth asking? Then the pressure to blog a great post is too extreme. When they aren't home, I watch stuff on hulu or netflix while I was dishes or sew or excavate the kitchen counters.

I realize good things have happened this year: Hayden made the swim team, Mike didn't get laid off, Emily got glasses, Tate likes cubs. Is this our activity log? Is it my medical chart? What is the point of this blog? I have considered starting an anonymous blog about crazy things my kids do and say. It would relieve frustration....Like how I was driving with Tate yesterday. Silence for 3 or 4 minutes, so I turned on the radio. Right away he said something. I asked him to repeat, which he did, but I still couldn't hear. Repeat, and repeat. I turned off the radio and he said, "I said, 'it's a cloudy day today.'". really??? Silence ensued for several minutes and then I foolishly turned the radio back on. Repeat the whole experience, just a different statement. It's a small thing, but it made me want to smack my forehead and who needs a worse headache?

You see, it's not like I'm going to lie and tell you all how fabulous we are and how we spent UEA in the Bahamas (did actually go to Zion's etc), and how we are all perfect. That is lame and I don't roll that way. On the other hand, who wants to read about me being tired every day and that our house is a pit of despair as a regular state. Dinner hates me and I hate dinner.

So bear with me while I figure out what the point of this blog has become.

Charity and Toenails (got your attention, eh?)

When even my kids say that I need to update the blog, I guess it's time to blog. Also, I am feeling less crazy-in-the-head than before. First up is a picture of my awesome toenails. Usually I hate my toenails, but these nailpolish strips made me so happy. Also a picture of kids, so that you know they are still alive and not deaded.

Now to something meaty. Not real meat. But lately there has been some discussion about my weirdness and my behavior and whether I am embarrassing or mean or both. SOO, this morning I was reading in 1 Corinthians 13, I believe, and it said (charity)"doth not behave itself unseemly". And there you go, Bob's your uncle, I have my answer. Charity doth not embarrass one's children. And while I could argue that my name isn't Charity, (I'm catching all the puns and leaving you none) I guess I have to admit it's time to stop being such a goofball in public. I'm not sure it can be done, but I know I have to try. If you see me messing up, you can punch my arm (LIGHTLY).

I'm a slow learner OR My new diet sucks rocks

I've been having problems for almost six months with a particular organ that I no longer need. Pain and misery and research led me to the decision to have a hysterectomy. I thought, "in, out, rest a little, all better". What a dope. I was in, out, and then back in again with a 102.2 fever. Thank goodness I didn't have any blood clots, but I did have pneumonia, so I had to stay two more days and get pumped full of antibiotics. Took me until I'd been home again 24 hours to figure out that the reason I couldn't stand to eat was that I had thrush. So more meds. No lie, Mike went to the pharmacy Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and again on Friday. Plus the Friday before. Things like this just don't go smoothly for us. I'll spare you details about the crying, nausea, pain, trying to find anything I could eat three bites of, the incisions, the re-starting of the digestive system after eating almost nothing for about a week. I kept thinking, haven't I just been through some of this?? What didn't I learn?

Well, the truth is that we forget. It's awful hard to keep that humility on a daily basis. It can be hard to remember He who gives us all things is in charge. And it's never easy to let other people in. We have such wonderful extended family and a most wonderful ward. Best ward ever. I figured they'd still be worn out from helping me 18 months ago. Not these ladies. :)

Here are some little things that kept me smiling while I've been down: Tate and Emily in the kitchen, bouncing a tennis ball and arguing passionately about how sound travels, kids getting themselves ready for church and going without Mike and I (he was kind enough to stay with me at the the hospital for part of the day), and this exchange:

me: oh! I have some littlest petshop under my side of the bed!
Em: why??
me: for emergencies
Em: I'm wondering what kind of emergency calls for little plastic pets...
(i meant birthday party gift emergencies, but she is a funny girl)

Happy Sabbath!

a "mormon" blog button and crock pots

According to General Conference, I need one of those blog buttons that says "I'm a Mormon" with "Mormon" crossed out and under it "member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints". Except that I know for a fact that only people in my family and a couple of close friends read this blog, and they'd darn well better know that already. If they don't I'm in biiig trouble. Conference was good and I don't dare tell you any parent revelation I got because I know that Hayden will read this and tell the others. I always wonder if they are listening to the be a good parent talks and getting the inside scoop on my strategies. Of course I do hope they heard the part where someone said that I HAVE to correct them--it's my job.

In unrelated news, I will share that when I got up this morning and the pork I'd put in the crock pot last night was cooked on the bottom but raw on top, I decided it might be time for a new crock pot and that we weren't going to have pork roast after all. You see, as a newlywed, I foolishly opened the crockpot we were given, only to find that THE CROCK WAS NON-REMOVABLE. Soon after that, we were given a good, removable kind, but I had already opened the dumb one, so we exchanged it for something else. My mom then gave us her old crock pot, which we have used for another almost 16 years. It is avacado on the outside, to give you an approximate age. The moral of this story is either A) don't open any boxed gifts until you are really sure or B) it is cruel to give newlyweds gifts after they've been married for a month. heh heh. who am I kidding? Presents are always in style!

the internet is forever, you know.

My children in their red-eyed splendor
the deer they named Scruffy in our yard. watching us.
My little baby is getting baptized in two weeks. wah.



So I broke down and wrote a new post. I asked Mike about it and he reminded me that stuff stays on the internet forever and even if the post didn't embarrass me, it could (but shouldn't ) affect job interviews and insurance coverage down the road.
So here is the more "pc" summary: I've been down for a few months. It's getting better. I don't feel like blogging when I feel like that, so I haven't. Guess I should've put someone else in charge. Didn't care enough. Also, please don't feel badly if I haven't commented on your blogs. I've read and enjoyed them but couldn't muster a comment. It's a reflection on me, not on you. Sounds like a break up speech, eh? But I am almost myself again, so watch out! I will have to wean myself from re-runs of tv on the internet. Got so desperate to avoid reality I was watching "Welcome Back Kotter". It was funnier than I remembered, but still....